The disconnect from oneself.

I haven't been updating my blog very often. I know.
There is a reason for this, though I am sad that it is so:
I have forgotten to amble.

The point of creating this blog was to remind me constantly to amble, and to give me an outlet to share my ambles with others who so wish to read them. But I found myself caught up in the same circus as everyone else, forgetting who I am, forgetting what I do: amble.

It took a roller coaster ride to set me straight again. But that "roller coaster" wasn't a bad thing. Nay, quite the contrary.
That roller coaster set me back where I needed to be, it just added to my life: experience, understanding, and most importantly, another person who understands and cares for me. A person that I let inside.
It took drastic measures to set me straight after that. I spent two days doing nothing, "being a bum" as I described myself then, but I now realize that I was ambling. I ambled through the entire relationship: from the start of the friendship to the end of what we deemed our "togetherness." During those thoughts I spoke to people very dear to me, and let them speak of what they wanted, and I learned. I spoke to that whom I recently let in, and I learned. I then sat around and thought, doing nothing in particular but being wrapped in a warm blanket, and I contemplated. I contemplated all of my thoughts and actions, all of my conversations, and all that I tell myself I am or need to be.

My ambling gave me perspective.
The perspective to see myself clearly again, without this shroud of emotions clouding my vision. I am grateful for everything that happened, because not only did I learn, but I remembered what I need to be doing:
Ambling.